If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
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His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
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Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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