It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
only you would photoshop your dick
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
