this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Randomize
