we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
