I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
