No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
