she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize