I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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