Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Of course I have a pirate flag
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
