Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
