im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
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