Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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