I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
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Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
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I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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