and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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