She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
My vagina is officially offended.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Randomize
