what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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