just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
