I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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