It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
