Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
