it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
