dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize