You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
He better not be in your backpack
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
