Me. At least after what I've been through.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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