I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
