It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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