Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
