well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
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