In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
