His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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