I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Randomize
