Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
How does one acquire holy water?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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