I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
