you're like a bully in the Christmas story
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
