He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
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I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
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Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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