My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Randomize
