So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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