Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
