why didn't you poke me back
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
