it hurts more in the daytime
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
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If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
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Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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