i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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