Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Randomize
