I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
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