I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize