you would pick up someone in the library
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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