I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
