He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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