I love black thongs
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
