I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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