I showed him my bush... on skype.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
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