Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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