Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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