I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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