Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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