i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize