just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
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