One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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