haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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