Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
