You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize