That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
