Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Randomize
