Already got asked if we're dating
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
